I rang HSBC again, ready to do battle.
Me: "I'm calling with regard to the charge you have applied to my account"
HSBC advisor "yes"
Me: "I would like you to return it to my account, please."
HSBC advisor: "Please bear with me whilst I look at the details madam. Can you hold?"
6 minutes of hold music later
HSBC advisor: "Mrs Minks, we have reviewed the circumstances of this charge and I have spoken with my supervisor and we will be returning the amount to your account."
Me: "Thank you"
WTF ??
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
look away. swearing about to commence
Those bastards at HSBC have decided to randomly fine me for going over my overdraft limit. Ok, I know I'm not meant to and usually as soon as I do I make sure there's a transfer to cover the over-overdraft amount.
So, usually HSBC don't penalise me, leaving me to believe that they understand I have funds and they are making enough money from me various interest and charges anyway.
This month however, they have done a 'spot check' and have fined me a huge amount. Fuckers!!
When I asked the poor customer services operator who received the rough end of my blazing mad stick why on this occasion they had fined me, but not on any other, she claimed I had been 'very lucky.' Its my fault for being lazy- but those cheeky twunts are taking the piss by lulling my into a false sense of security before penalising me like some naughty child. She might as well've said. " We charge you to look after your money but we don't actually look at your account very often, we just ring you and write to you and persuade you to take out a huge loan and credit card that you can't pay back BECAUSE YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE AN INCOME. We spend the rest of our time funding terrorism, coups and wars and that. So overdraw as much as you want, love- we probably won't check, but if you do, you'll be in trouble."
I asked her to return the money to my account. Instead she offered to extend my overdraft.
I suggested she and her pirate employers stick their unethical banking and investment practices up their enormously fat arses, whilst I skip off to the Coop for some conscience free banking and 12 bottles of free wine (an offer with my name all over it.)
This has particlularly annoyed me because I've been trying to save some cash. Not easy when there's only one income and three hungry growing men (and one shrinking woman. I need a new wardrobe and might have to knit my own clothes this winter from recycled baby clothes!!)
So, I'm going to have to sell everything we own on eBay to make up the deficit and stop eating. Which means I'll need even more new clothes, unless I become so slim I can just cut my old clothes in half and recycle them that way.
So, usually HSBC don't penalise me, leaving me to believe that they understand I have funds and they are making enough money from me various interest and charges anyway.
This month however, they have done a 'spot check' and have fined me a huge amount. Fuckers!!
When I asked the poor customer services operator who received the rough end of my blazing mad stick why on this occasion they had fined me, but not on any other, she claimed I had been 'very lucky.' Its my fault for being lazy- but those cheeky twunts are taking the piss by lulling my into a false sense of security before penalising me like some naughty child. She might as well've said. " We charge you to look after your money but we don't actually look at your account very often, we just ring you and write to you and persuade you to take out a huge loan and credit card that you can't pay back BECAUSE YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE AN INCOME. We spend the rest of our time funding terrorism, coups and wars and that. So overdraw as much as you want, love- we probably won't check, but if you do, you'll be in trouble."
I asked her to return the money to my account. Instead she offered to extend my overdraft.
I suggested she and her pirate employers stick their unethical banking and investment practices up their enormously fat arses, whilst I skip off to the Coop for some conscience free banking and 12 bottles of free wine (an offer with my name all over it.)
This has particlularly annoyed me because I've been trying to save some cash. Not easy when there's only one income and three hungry growing men (and one shrinking woman. I need a new wardrobe and might have to knit my own clothes this winter from recycled baby clothes!!)
So, I'm going to have to sell everything we own on eBay to make up the deficit and stop eating. Which means I'll need even more new clothes, unless I become so slim I can just cut my old clothes in half and recycle them that way.
Sunday, August 27, 2006
never start rumours
The poor lickle lads have stinking colds. Disappointingly, Ezra's has moved onto his chest and he has a bit of a cough. I am wavering between absolute panic and calm resolution and I've temporarily moved him into our bed so I can keep an eye on his breathing with inhaler at the ready.
I realised just how obsessive I was when I began timing his respiratory rate in the night and watching his clavicle intensely. "Stop staring Mummy" Ez groaned as he turned over.
Seth is waking several times in the night gasping for a drink. They are both eating like hogs during the day which means they are feeding themselves better- a good sign.
Seth has been sitting in his highchair chewing alternately on a piece of chedder and slices of cucumber for 1/2 an hour now and I am overwhelmed by how gentle and calm he is. We were at a friends house on Friday with some other deliciously yummy mummies. They all commented on how lovely he is. He can amuse himself for ages, he joins in with the big kids without a care in the world. They cautiously accept him, gently stroking his head or helping to feed him- but mostly they ignore him, in the same way they ignore each other.
He is very smiley, he likes to explore and loves a snuggle from the other Mums and Dads.
He is happy fearless and independent. I hope remains so forever.
I realised just how obsessive I was when I began timing his respiratory rate in the night and watching his clavicle intensely. "Stop staring Mummy" Ez groaned as he turned over.
Seth is waking several times in the night gasping for a drink. They are both eating like hogs during the day which means they are feeding themselves better- a good sign.
Seth has been sitting in his highchair chewing alternately on a piece of chedder and slices of cucumber for 1/2 an hour now and I am overwhelmed by how gentle and calm he is. We were at a friends house on Friday with some other deliciously yummy mummies. They all commented on how lovely he is. He can amuse himself for ages, he joins in with the big kids without a care in the world. They cautiously accept him, gently stroking his head or helping to feed him- but mostly they ignore him, in the same way they ignore each other.
He is very smiley, he likes to explore and loves a snuggle from the other Mums and Dads.
He is happy fearless and independent. I hope remains so forever.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
rumour
I'm treating it with kid gloves. I don't want to get too excited about it. Its still not perfect, but,
last night we only fed Seth once. They both got up at 6.30am.
Keep it under your hat.
last night we only fed Seth once. They both got up at 6.30am.
Keep it under your hat.
Monday, August 21, 2006
procrastinators by design
We havent found anywhere to live. It seems that talking about it has not yet transformed into 'doing it'. Sleep depravation and work schedules seem to prevent any real activity.
Still, we've had two better nights, meaning that Seth is finally getting the whole point of nighttimes. A by-product of his epiphany is that will also be more rested, once our annoying neighbours stop hosting parties and playing 70's dirge at 3 in the morning and whooping "you go girl" at someone stomping to 'brown girl in the ring', and so back to why we want to move. Agh!
Being tired makes me guilty. Guilty because when I should be setting up some paints for Ez, whilst jiggling shiny objects with Seth and doing the washing and cleaning, I instead have been switching on Cbeebies whilst I try to figure out where we put the washing up liquid. (Of course its in the bathroom!) God Bless CBEEBIES.
So, anyway, I feel slightly more alert and will be wrenching the lads away from boogie beebies (much to their distress) and encouraging them to interract with me and each other in structured activities involving shiny paper, instead of "lets all read a book in Mummy's bed?"
I wonder how long the fun will last before we are all in tears and Fireman Sam is lulling them into a comfortable viewing coma.
Still, we've had two better nights, meaning that Seth is finally getting the whole point of nighttimes. A by-product of his epiphany is that will also be more rested, once our annoying neighbours stop hosting parties and playing 70's dirge at 3 in the morning and whooping "you go girl" at someone stomping to 'brown girl in the ring', and so back to why we want to move. Agh!
Being tired makes me guilty. Guilty because when I should be setting up some paints for Ez, whilst jiggling shiny objects with Seth and doing the washing and cleaning, I instead have been switching on Cbeebies whilst I try to figure out where we put the washing up liquid. (Of course its in the bathroom!) God Bless CBEEBIES.
So, anyway, I feel slightly more alert and will be wrenching the lads away from boogie beebies (much to their distress) and encouraging them to interract with me and each other in structured activities involving shiny paper, instead of "lets all read a book in Mummy's bed?"
I wonder how long the fun will last before we are all in tears and Fireman Sam is lulling them into a comfortable viewing coma.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
torture
9pm. 12.30 am. 1am 1.30am. Then 4.30am. both of them. and that was it. they didn't go back to sleep. John and I battled cattily over who had had more sleep before he got up with them at 6am and I was jolted awake at 6.55am by a cup of coffee and scrambled eggs. My hatred turned to overwhelming love. We are united sometimes in seething contempt for the nighthawks.
There seems to be a pattern forming and I will surely expire if it goes on for much longer.
There seems to be a pattern forming and I will surely expire if it goes on for much longer.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
sleep, dagnammit!
We've got to tackle the night feeds. Our seven month old is having two full feeds a night. One at 2am and one at 5am. This means he can drink almost 1 1/2 litres of milk a day. Considering he should be having about 600mls or about a pint- its a bit much and is definitely taking the edge off his appetite for solid food.
There are three ways we could do this. With Ez we went cold turkey, and I just stopped breastfeeding him in the night. He still had a 5am feed until he was 1.
The second method is to gradually reduce the amount of milk we give him at each feed- (I can't see how this would work, as knowing our Seth he'd just wake up more frequently.)
The third is to offer water instead of milk. I tried this the other night and he drank 100mls of water and stayed awake, laughing until it was time to get up for his breakfast. I would quite happily leave him to laugh in his cot and zonk out if it weren't for the fact that he shares a room with Ez and once Ez is up- there's no getting back to sleep ("I awake now! I can't close my eyes, they're broken!")
In preparation I've been stuffing the kid full to the brim with food and milk during the day. To the extent that he vomited his entire feed up in his cot the other night- then promptly demanded more milk.
They're not meant to be hungry in the night at this age- apparently its just a habit. Seems my baby's habit will be a tough one to break.
Wouldn't you just know it.
There are three ways we could do this. With Ez we went cold turkey, and I just stopped breastfeeding him in the night. He still had a 5am feed until he was 1.
The second method is to gradually reduce the amount of milk we give him at each feed- (I can't see how this would work, as knowing our Seth he'd just wake up more frequently.)
The third is to offer water instead of milk. I tried this the other night and he drank 100mls of water and stayed awake, laughing until it was time to get up for his breakfast. I would quite happily leave him to laugh in his cot and zonk out if it weren't for the fact that he shares a room with Ez and once Ez is up- there's no getting back to sleep ("I awake now! I can't close my eyes, they're broken!")
In preparation I've been stuffing the kid full to the brim with food and milk during the day. To the extent that he vomited his entire feed up in his cot the other night- then promptly demanded more milk.
They're not meant to be hungry in the night at this age- apparently its just a habit. Seems my baby's habit will be a tough one to break.
Wouldn't you just know it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
update
Bear- fully absorbed back into the Ezra-thumb-bear comfort triangle.
Mum- finished radiotherapy today. (Well done Mum xx)
John- has got a new Blackberry, and can be found wandering around our bedroom in his pants on conference calls. (No, really)
Seth- teething (and fully bottle fed.)
Me- pre-menstrual and bloated.
Mum- finished radiotherapy today. (Well done Mum xx)
John- has got a new Blackberry, and can be found wandering around our bedroom in his pants on conference calls. (No, really)
Seth- teething (and fully bottle fed.)
Me- pre-menstrual and bloated.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Bear
In first photo taken of Ezra, Bear is beside him. Bear met Ezra before I did. (I was coming round in the recovery room.) Ez and bear are inseparable and he told us only last week that he loved Bear more than anyone or thing in the whole world- even Mummy, Daddy or chocolate icecream. Last night, as I tried to get Seth off to sleep Ezra turned over in his bed and sighed "come on bear" and snuggled down next to him.
Today, somewhere between Balham and Tooting we lost Ezra's beloved Bear.
Ezra sobbed himself to sleep and when he awoke I told him that bear had been found and had been rushed to hospital with severe injuries. Luckily the doctors could make him well again and he would come home soon with new fur and stuffing and everything. (Thank goodness we kept an identical 'imposter' bear and didn't hand him over to Seth.)
So a new and improved bear returned from toy hospital a few hours ago, with a bandage over one eye and on his wrist. He's also sporting a plaster on his nose and a gauze pad on his tail (poor bear!)
Ezra is not sure, but is familiarizing himself with every millimetre of his furry body. We discussed that even though he looks different on the outside- he's still the same bear inside.
I'm going to hell.
Today, somewhere between Balham and Tooting we lost Ezra's beloved Bear.
Ezra sobbed himself to sleep and when he awoke I told him that bear had been found and had been rushed to hospital with severe injuries. Luckily the doctors could make him well again and he would come home soon with new fur and stuffing and everything. (Thank goodness we kept an identical 'imposter' bear and didn't hand him over to Seth.)
So a new and improved bear returned from toy hospital a few hours ago, with a bandage over one eye and on his wrist. He's also sporting a plaster on his nose and a gauze pad on his tail (poor bear!)
Ezra is not sure, but is familiarizing himself with every millimetre of his furry body. We discussed that even though he looks different on the outside- he's still the same bear inside.
I'm going to hell.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
moving
We always believed that the rent in our current property had been fixed at the same level for four years because our landlord is some sort of humanitarian philanthropic property magnet. I have discovered this morning that we are infact merely paying over the odds.
We can expand our horizons (and our garden potential) and pay less than we currently do now. Its true that the area we will have to move into is slightly less attractive (and it is a very 'slight' less.) We will swap the Common for a garden and John will have to walk a bit further to the Tube. Oh and we might have to pay for parking (now, that is a pain in the arse.)
We're off enmasse to view some properties this evening and I'm quite excited, though a little nervous. I can get carried away. We once almost rented an unsuitable flat because I fell in love with the vegetable patch.
Fingers crossed my dream house with a huge kitchen will have french doors leading out onto a big lovely garden (one property we're going to see has a summer house).
I'll keep you posted.
We can expand our horizons (and our garden potential) and pay less than we currently do now. Its true that the area we will have to move into is slightly less attractive (and it is a very 'slight' less.) We will swap the Common for a garden and John will have to walk a bit further to the Tube. Oh and we might have to pay for parking (now, that is a pain in the arse.)
We're off enmasse to view some properties this evening and I'm quite excited, though a little nervous. I can get carried away. We once almost rented an unsuitable flat because I fell in love with the vegetable patch.
Fingers crossed my dream house with a huge kitchen will have french doors leading out onto a big lovely garden (one property we're going to see has a summer house).
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, August 07, 2006
misery me
It could be post-hectic weekend blues. Its definitely envy. I am miserable today because I do not have the willpower to avoid litres of vodka, then the inevitable lack of sleep/hangover induced takeaways, fried breakfasts and chocolate.
I am miserable because we do not own a house with a garden. I am uncharacteristically (acting out of character is happening a lot of late) tinged with regret that we didn't save more when we were young. Today I regret that we didn't buy a modest property rather than go on holidays, buy nice clothes and eat nice food in grand restaurants.
I am even questioning whether it really is the right thing to stay at home with the lads when I could be out earning a crust and they could be eating healthily and playing educationally motivated games in nursery, instyead of watching HI-5 while I blog about how miserable I am feeling.
Watch this space (it might remain inactive but I can feel the vibration of change in the air- or maybe that just post takeaway wind)
I am miserable because we do not own a house with a garden. I am uncharacteristically (acting out of character is happening a lot of late) tinged with regret that we didn't save more when we were young. Today I regret that we didn't buy a modest property rather than go on holidays, buy nice clothes and eat nice food in grand restaurants.
I am even questioning whether it really is the right thing to stay at home with the lads when I could be out earning a crust and they could be eating healthily and playing educationally motivated games in nursery, instyead of watching HI-5 while I blog about how miserable I am feeling.
Watch this space (it might remain inactive but I can feel the vibration of change in the air- or maybe that just post takeaway wind)
Friday, August 04, 2006
So very very tired
nuff said.
Tonight my mother-in-law is babysitting whilst John and I attend uncle Matt's birthday party. I am feeling a mixture of nerves/terror/excitement/relief.
I'm not yet in the swing of leaving them with loved ones while we 'tear it up'. Yes, I know we should be leaving them for days at a time by now- but uncharacteristically* I'm a bit controlling and feel uneasy when I leave them with anyone. Its not personal.
Anyway, I've got a new frock- Seth can clap and laughs at jokes and Ezra's speech has taken another leap forward and he now speaks in lovely long sentences.
*My mum is now wetting herself
Oh edit: Ezra has grown 4 cms since he was last measured. Not sure if thats a world record or average but its bloody marvellous anyway you look at it!
Tonight my mother-in-law is babysitting whilst John and I attend uncle Matt's birthday party. I am feeling a mixture of nerves/terror/excitement/relief.
I'm not yet in the swing of leaving them with loved ones while we 'tear it up'. Yes, I know we should be leaving them for days at a time by now- but uncharacteristically* I'm a bit controlling and feel uneasy when I leave them with anyone. Its not personal.
Anyway, I've got a new frock- Seth can clap and laughs at jokes and Ezra's speech has taken another leap forward and he now speaks in lovely long sentences.
*My mum is now wetting herself
Oh edit: Ezra has grown 4 cms since he was last measured. Not sure if thats a world record or average but its bloody marvellous anyway you look at it!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
but why not?
Remember the 4 lbs I lost in the first week at the gym. Well 6 weeks on I've actually gained a lb. I did have a week off for my holiday, during which I did eat my own bodyweight in cream teas and drank like a boozy fish, but since then I've been good-honest, guv. Not great- but the point is I've been to the gym at least three times a week since and the weight aint shifting. Tis a cruel world where tubbies like me have the unique talent for storing fat whilst simultaneously getting very fit.
I suddenly remember a period during my years dancing where I'd be doing at least two classes a day, plus rehearsals. I was attending lectures, working 30 hours a week as a silver service waitress and was living on a diet of booze and fags with a protein-only meal every two or three days. I was also nursing a recently shattered heart, due to the end of a long relationship. I managed to lose some weight then.
I am too old and too tired starve. Must I resign myself to being rotund forever? And I so wanted to poke someones eyes out with bony shoulders.
I suddenly remember a period during my years dancing where I'd be doing at least two classes a day, plus rehearsals. I was attending lectures, working 30 hours a week as a silver service waitress and was living on a diet of booze and fags with a protein-only meal every two or three days. I was also nursing a recently shattered heart, due to the end of a long relationship. I managed to lose some weight then.
I am too old and too tired starve. Must I resign myself to being rotund forever? And I so wanted to poke someones eyes out with bony shoulders.
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