Ezra experienced his second asthma attack, and was hospitalized on Tuesday. I am glad we recognized the signs. I waved him off with his Dad and he said "bye Mum, see you soon" When I arrived at the hospital five hours later he was too ill to speak.
The whole experience was utterly terrifying for everyone involved. Ezra is older and more aware of himself and his surroundings. He was frightened of the oxygen mask, but adapted well when he learnt that it made him feel better. He was wary of the Nurses and Doctors, but soon realized they were making him well again. He is a brave, clever, resilient boy.
Having a diagnosis confirmed is a relief and a bind. The severity of both attacks, coupled with my family history mean that daily steroid inhalation will be part of his life. I must keep a diary of his symptoms to feedback at the monthly asthma clinic. Bedding, vacuum cleaners, dust and pollen are suddenly very important.
The knowledge that this might happen again is overwhelming. Watching him struggle for every breath, and being power less to help was unbearable.
I feel like my baby is broken- that I broke him in some way. I understand that I am not responsible, and yet how can I not feel its my fault? Everything I ate, drank. My genes; my body gave him life. I can't change any of that now.
So, I can vacuum and change Ezra's bedding, and keep a diary of his symptoms. I can ensure he uses his inhaler, and educate everyone who knows and looks after Ezra about asthma. How to recognize it, treat it and when to seek help.
Ezra, meanwhile- runs around the house covered in stickers and singing the theme tune to Fireman Sam. He is still the same.
4 comments:
Aw sweetie. I feel for you guys. remember though the treatments are changing so frequently that in very little time you won't even notice the asthma. You're all in my prayers.
God, that's terrifying. Our little E may get it too as she has defective genes on her father's side. I think vic is right about the treatments though - certainly over here they say that if you use an inhaler more than a few times a week, you're on the wrong medicine.
Regardless, I am especially concerned about your having to keep the house so clean and hope that you have someone to take care of this for you.
thanks guys. the drugs are good so hopefully he won't have many more experiences like this one.
Kate: I know I've had to stoop to extreme levels, but I think I've won the case for a weekly cleaner!
Oh, and the Doc told me that the asthma is passed down the maternal line, (not sure how true that is) so E could be ok xx
Let's talk cleaners.
Love that little boy. He'll be reet. J x x
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