Wednesday, December 06, 2006

wooden teeth and christmas whatnot

I'm not sure my liver can take much more alcohol abuse. I've been quaffing huge vats of booze, and with christmas coming, I will probably quaff lots more. If I don't die from alcohol poisoning, I'll be drying out in January. This blog may become a very dark and miserable place (What? even more misery you say? Can we take it?)
Oh, and my teeth are about to fall out.
I have an aversion to dentists and the accompanying dentistry. A collision with a see saw, a fondness for my thumb, and an inherited overbite meant that I spent a lot of time in pain in the dentists chair as a child. Once the braces were off and the veneers were fitted- I vowed never to visit the dentist again. That was 17 ish years ago. I have been since, but sporadically- and always when I'm desperate.
Its ridiculous considering I have been entitled to free dental health care for over a year now. The last time I saw my dentist (in 2004) she suggested that I might need new veneers. She quoted me an astronomical price for posh new teeth and I promptly ignored her suggestion and vowed never to visit again (again)
Now my veneer covered front teeth are feeling a bit 'sensitive' and on closer inspection it appears there's either a huge cavity- or one tooth has finally given up and died.
So- with less that three weeks free dentristry left I am in a mad panic to get my teeth fixed up. My worst nightmare is that the veneers need to be removed and by some quirky twist of fate I'll have to roam the christmas streets with my broken stumps on display for all to see. Or even worse- that the stumps have to be removed all together leaving me-gulp- front toothless for Christmas. Why am I not more sensible, instead of being wierd and scared. It'll be my own fault if I'm the drunk gappy gobbed one drooling at the dinner table.


Oh, go on then "all I want for christmas is my two front teeth........."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have much sympathy with the dentist situation - so much sympathy, in fact, that I don't even consider vanity a good enough reason to consider a visit, it would only be for massive pain and imminent death.

mad muthas said...

johnny depp works that look really well - shane mcgowan, on the other hand ...

Minks said...

I'm already having nightmares about the drilling and all the blood. Arrrrgh!!
Wooden teeth are the only solution

Anonymous said...

Hi Minks!
You have my deepest sympathy! I found a really good dentist a few years back who prescribed me a tranquillizer to take before I had any dental work done, and got me to bring a walkman with Enya-type music to listen to. Usually I'm a hippy-dippy type and anti any unnecessary drugs, but it got to the stage where I just shook like a little dog in the dentist's chair and they couldn't actually do any work. Anyway, they've weaned me off the tranquillizers now and I trot along quite happily every 6 months or so. May be worth a try?

Minks said...

thanks Ginny- I'll definitely try that.

Anonymous said...

I am quite keen on this wooden teeth idea - imagine how tasty they would become. An evening drinking red wine and you'd be able to suck woody red wine flavour out of them for a week.