Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Don't!

Ezra sounds like Mariella Frostrup, and they are both hacking like professional pipe smokers.
Despite their obvious illness, Seth has managed to perfect his walking skills, and can turn, walk sideways and- most importantly-dance. Last night they played with some spooky balloons, chasing the floating ghostly faces around the room and I faced my future; the fighting will only get more violent now they are both capable of kicking.
Seth is maximizing his only tooth, by continuing to eat virtually anything (corned beef, beans and tomatoes for lunch) and biting chunks out of his brother's head.
Ez has us in stitches with his singing (Razorlight and Hard-Fi mashed with Fireman Sam) and his comprehension makes him wise beyond his years. ("Mummy don't shout No! at Sethy- he doesn't understand.")
His favourite game is checking his emails and writing his blog. Do you think I might spend too long on the computer?
Ezra is as precocious as ever. And very bossy. He despairs at other children not doing exactly as he dictates. I feel like I am wading through a mire when I try and explain the merits of empathy, generosity and democracy. I can remember with crystal clarity how shattered I would be when other children lied, broke a toy, or broke the rules. If I'm honest, I haven't changed much since I was almost three.
I wonder if should be trying to help him modify his behaviour when he is disappointed and frustrated, as opposed to learning to live with the disappointment itself.
Sometimes, I hate being a parent. This era has shown how responsible we are for informing our children's development. I often make the wrong choices.
This is the guilt my mother talked about. Its amazing how it grows as they grow.

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