I'm off

to vox. Blogger sucks.
http://minks.vox.com/

"it was only

when I dyed my hair, plucked my eyebrows, washed up and evaded ww3 (opposing parties seriously engaged in some painting/drawing) when I realised I'd made it as an FTM*"






*Full Time Mum

solid matter

(sorry)
So, John took the day off and I stayed in bed and read a book.
Today I am feeling much better and a stone lighter.
I wouldn't recommend it as a weight loss plan, but it worked better than my willpower.
I have stayed (mostly) booze free, and other than aching kidneys, dry skin and frazzled hair, and neglected children, my January has been an abstinence success.
I intend to eat healthily, drink fresh fruit juices and pure protein (after I've finished this chocolate muffin)

sick of it (pun intended)

The bug lingers. Probably the oysters I ate at Seth's birthday meal, according to the GP who has administered antibiotics and sent off a stool sample. One day I feel better, the next, worse. Its not life threatening or completely debilitating, but my energy is low and my reactions are sluggish. I am not keeping on top of the untidiness, easy tasks like making dinner, or getting them dressed are daunting. Every spilled drink and power struggle over a toy make me tearful.
I feel terrible. My fuse is very short, and they have both been shouted at numerous times over the last few weeks. Today Ezra had several tantrums (as usual) over getting dressed, and when I shouted at him in anger- he took himself off to our bed and wee'd in it. "Are you cross that Mummy shouted?" I asked despairingly. "Yes- so I did a wee in your bed and my pants!" You can't say fairer than that.
I need some help- I'd be signed off sick if I had a paying job. Sadly, there is no one who can cover my shift while I take to my bed.
These antibiotics better kick in soon- I solemnly vow to look after myself, eat more healthily and get more rest when I am feeling better.

interaction

We visited the health visitor today (who noticed my weight loss and commented on how healthy I look. I smiled- instead of telling her I feel deathly.)
Boys weighed and measured.
Ez has grown 2.5cms since the last measure up. Seth has grown, but not much. The irony being that Seth is exactly the same height that Ez was when he was one. I was tearing my hair out with worry at Ezzie's littledom, provoked by worrying HV's who scanned my behaviour for signs of cruelty and nutritional befuddlement.
I am not in the slightest bit worried about Seth. True he weighs more and will eat practically anything, but I am also an old hand now at spotting signs of 'health versus illness' and that boy is fit as a fiddle (he will now be struck down with some mystery illness)
I am aware that Seth has no interest in verbal communication. He can emit blood curdling screams on demand, and points at everything, but has lost all interest in babble. mama dada have disappeared. Other than some shushy whispers and grunts when he points, he is NOT BOTHERED.
It is wrong to compare, but it is inevitable, given that they are so similar in age- and they live in my house. At this age Ez was attempting to copy most words, he tried to sing the lyrics to songs and was proficient in calling Dad dadaaaa, by this stage. Seth is NOT BOTHERED.
There is evidence to suggest younger siblings speak later, so maybe it'll be a while before he gets going- I just wish he'd hurry up and get rid of that bloody scream. (which is so loud my neighbours upstairs have taken to banging on their floor. I will kill them the next time they dare)

men are from mars, women are from tooting

The stomach bug is taking its toll. The boys have square eyes and have eaten some interesting meals "you want an orange and a muffin and some cheese? fine. Seth you can have whatever I can cook in 2.5 seconds." Today they had bad food from a bad fast food chain for lunch.
The other day noone got dressed. Today Ezra is wearing a pyjama top and jeans (but no underpants) Seth did a poo in his nappy about 10 minutes ago but I'm working myself up to change him (I'll be sick straight after and I'm not relishing the prospect)
The rubbish bit about being a full time mum is being unable to phone in sick. Especially when your husband is in a new job and someone has flown in from the US especially to train him this week.
Thankfully, my husband takes over after the orange and muffin dinner and bathes the kids before reading them a story and hurling them into bed. He will then wash up and tidy the toys away, while I shiver on the sofa and read nursery application forms.
So, really he's a bit of a hero. But how dare he suggest going out straight after work on Friday night? What will I do? Leave the kids at the dinner table until they fall asleep? Bending over the bath might result in more vomiting.
I know, I'll leave them in their pyjamas again- that way there'll be no need to bath anyone, and noone will ever know.....

holibobs and babs

Since Seth's birthday I've been crook. A tummy bug (don't need to go into the sordid details) has taken the wind out of my sails and I'm starting to wonder whether a dose of antibiotics/probiotics might sort it out. I thought things were improving until I dared to eat something spicy last night. From about 1am I was up and down with a killer stomach ache and explosive pebbledashing. I'm still feeling unwelcome spasms and cannot leave the house for fear of being caught short.
The bad news- dehydration, cracked lips, and an inability to pick up and carry the lads.
The good news- loss of appetite, and a bit of weight loss.
Despite this, I've got 1 new front tooth (the other is temporary- I cant go into it because it wil make me cry.) It amazes me that I can survive all kinds of things, but vanity is killing me.
The most exciting news is an almost booked holiday. Abroad. We might well be paying it off into the next millenium, but I don't care- we all deserve a break.
And finally- nurseries. Closing date for applications is the 9th February. Its not going particularly well and has clarified our need to leave this place as soon as possible. The Dance Movement Therapy course might have to wait a little longer. Do you think I'll be taken seriously as a 70 year old newly qualified practitioner?

Outstanding achievements

Seth has been unsettled at night due to colds, fevers, coughing and spluttering and so to avoid waking Ez he has been back in our bed.
The result is we have discovered Ez can sleep until 7.30am. I am so excited about this development I can almost forget his tantrums, nagging and stubbornness. And he is now dry through the night. Everynight. No More Nappies! Hurrah!!
His speech is developing fast and conversations take on a whole new dimension. As he expresses his understanding of the world around I am by admiration, wonder and respect.
Meanwhile Pointy Seth has moved onto to pointing at things he wants, pointing to things he wants us to name, pointing to himself when he wants something. Occasionally I think I can hear words emerging, mostly he uses a complex system of screams, claps and pointing to make himself understood.
They remind me everyday how truly spectacular being a parent is. I must remember not to moan about being unable to afford those trousers, and that posh telly, and that mansion down the road, because I am so lucky to be around to experience these developments.

one

On saturday Seth Jacob Arthur will be One. As if to accentuate his importance in our family he is currently teething, with an accompanying cold and fever and suffering from separation anxiety. He can't sleep, eat or be put down for more than a few minutes without screaming himself hoarse.
I could write a blog about his birth- the terror, horror, fear, joy (and that was just my waters breaking) but anyone who reads this will remember what happened. We don't need to go over the whole scary saga. Its fabulous that we're all alive, and infact, my stock reply to anyone who asks "how are you getting on?" has been "we're still alive." I mean it.
My other favourite phrases from this year include "please stop crying/whining/whinging" "Time Out!", "Do you want a cuddle?" and "I am so f***ing tired I could cry" (I frequently did).
Thanks to my fabulous friends for holding me above water- with a special squeeze for auntie Jo for being the best auntie and even better friend. And my Mummy for being The Greatest, and for keeping GNER in the black with her emergency trips to London.
We were going to host a birthday party. We're not now. There's no point, as Seth and I will just sob and cling to one another all the way through.
Instead we are going to celebrate the only way we know how-quietly- and with lashings of cake and chips (doesn't bode well for my diet.)

ahhh 2007

Apologies for the break in transmission. I was too busy drinking and eating to place my fingertips to the keys.
In summary- an excellent christmas at my Mum and Dad's. Much food, drink and merriment. A beautiful necklace from a posh shop for my birthday. A mountain of pressies for the lads, a spectacular t shirt for my husband.
I am 32. I have gained 5 pounds over the festive period. My youngest has begun to point and say. His favourite is "adad!" for the alpha- with whom he is currently besotted. Ezra is engaging in some fabulous imaginative play involving all his toys going into 'time outs' and then making friends again and declaring "now behave you lot!"
The most exciting news (or devastating depending on what hour of the day it is) is that I have declared myself a NO BOOZE ZONE for 6 weeks. To see if I can do it- but also to try and reduce the beer belly, I can no longer entirely blame on my two larroping lads.
My fake teeth are holding on by a thread and came off a few times over christmas. The sooner my dentist gets back and fixes some new ones the better.
I stayed in on NYE. Luckily I'd gotten obliterated at a party the previous day and so wasn't too sad to spend a quiet evening infront of the box.
So- onwards and upwards- whats going to happen this year, I wonder?
I'm hoping for a move, (hopefully) some further education, a new nursery, a more slender frame, a fresh outlook and some blinging front teeth.