They're both sickly with colds. Up for most of last night, and because I am a good and generous mother I dragged them around the shops because, despite being broke, I need new trousers for tonight. I'm going out with some grown ups- many of whom don't even have children!! Also, I have lost some more blubber and can declare some of my clothes officially too big.
Tragedy number one struck when in Hennes trying on trousers. Folding my baby bulge (will the excess skin be there forever?) into what I thought were size 14 trousers, I noted they were a tad tight. "I'll just get the 16's" I thought and "my bum doesn't look too big in these- what shall I have for lunch and will that affect my bum size?". When I took them back to the changing room attendant and glanced at the label. There, in bold black writing- size 16. That means I need an 18. I've gone from healthy, to overweight and now obese in 3 minutes. Still, I upsize and buy them (my bum did look ok).
So, leaving Hennes I realise I am tired and fat and Seth is wailing, because he is sick and Ezra is whinging because he is hungry and wants to watch The Magic Roundabout- because he is "quite sick, Mummy." I want to buy a new eyeliner. I make a mental note not to go shopping with them ever ever again.
We settle on two DVD's from WHSmiths. Seth is now hysterical- Ezra has joined in because he is, by now "very sick mummy. I need an ambulance"
I drive home, listening to them demand food, drinks, bears, dummies and "Daaaaaaaahdeeeeeeeeeeee", and I contemplate the size of my bum, what to make for lunch, whether to wash darks or whites and what shoes to wear with my trousers. In that order.
Lunch is a disaster, and lies strewn across the floor, as Ezra is, by now "too sick for food Mummy. I can only eat a cake"
I throw them both into bed- covered in leftovers, and hurl a load in the washing machine.
My trousers are too long- even with my heels on. I am now tired, fat and short.
They wake up after an half an hour and I yelp and sprint to the DVD player. The shop assistant was so busy trying to tell me how to stop my children from crying, he inadvertantly gave me two copies of the same film.
I lie down in a pile of toys and ironing and expire.
3 comments:
Oh my!! Your life sounds so much like mine that a cynical laugh left me as I read your post.
Don't show any sign's of weakness.. they smell weakness ;o)
Oh and I'm pretty sure the flabby skin NEVER EVER will go away... *sighs*
Sympathy. She's right about the flabby skin though. Comfort yourself that you don't have twin flab. Quite scary, really.
'shoes
H&M sizes are teeeeny. You can subtract at least two sizes from the size you actually fit in. I thought you migt be comforted by that news.
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